POV: This cowboy falls out of the sky with a double-barreled shotgun pointed at you. What do you do?
"Oh no," your brain silently shouts, "A cowboy is unexpectedly descending from the sky. We are in danger."
VIDEO ABOVE: The incident.
Please humor me on an indulgent Friday™ tale of western combat, dear reader. Last night I was putting another few rounds into my most-played game of the year, Hunt: Showdown, a stealthy, often slow shooter where sitting still in tall grass is usually a preferred strategy over bum-rushing.
We were skirting the perimeter of Fort Bolden, the lincoln log fortress in the SW corner of DeSalle. My teammate had just been blown to smithereens by a fireworks trap that was deviously placed beside a red explosive barrel. Morale was low, and enemies had the high ground.
In a few seconds, we'd have a chance to even the odds. I was trying to flush out the enemies who we knew were occupying the area above us, on the battlement. I shot one. I hurled a (19th century) flash grenade into their nest. Another throwable has barely left my hand when the heavens part. The silhouette of an avenging angel breaks the sky, and he's wearing suspenders.
Is this the new Hunt meta, headstomping your enemies like a goomba? The leap at me is an action-hero move, and the last thing I expect in a shooter where movement is mostly limited to little, strafey side-steps. I absorb a bucketful of buckshot, smacked within an inch of my lifebar. (Upon forensic inspection of the footage, it looks like he's carrying a Caldwell Rival 78 Handcannon, excellent taste in shotguns, my friend.)
I belatedly reflex-fire my Winfield as he hits the ground. No hit marker, shit. But he's... dead? He killed himself? He killed himself. I've dodged a bullet despite very much not dodging the aforementioned bullet.
So, what do you do when a cowboy falls out of the sky with a double-barreled shotgun pointed at you? Answer: Get knocked to 2 HP and miss your shot as he pancakes himself; humbly declare victory.
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Also, a reminder to all aspiring angel cowboys and girls out there: Kiteskin is a trait that reduces the damage caused by falling by 50%. It can be yours for a mere one (1) trait point. I offer this advice with the utmost respect.
This isn't an especially amazing story. It's far from the most spectacular moment I've had in Hunt. But I am bound by cowboy code to tip my dusty hat to this legend as publicly as I am able. You went down swinging, buddy. Blasting a guy (me) with your gun was the last thing you ever did—how many cowpersons can say that? If we all had your Leroy Jenkinsness (a real and valid name combination in Hunt, incredibly), we'd all make gaming a little more fun for everyone.
And I really should have died, honestly. Let this humble HTML correct the ledger, hopefully.
In conclusion, and in the voice of a six-year-old: "I liked the part when the cowboy fell down."
Evan's a hardcore FPS enthusiast who joined PC Gamer in 2008. After an era spent publishing reviews, news, and cover features, he now oversees editorial operations for PC Gamer worldwide, including setting policy, training, and editing stories written by the wider team. His most-played FPSes are CS:GO, Team Fortress 2, Team Fortress Classic, Rainbow Six Siege, and Arma 2. His first multiplayer FPS was Quake 2, played on serial LAN in his uncle's basement, the ideal conditions for instilling a lifelong fondness for fragging. Evan also leads production of the PC Gaming Show, the annual E3 showcase event dedicated to PC gaming.