I Am Jesus Christ is a 'realistic' sim where you fight Satan
Magic hands.
The trailer for I Am Jesus Christ, which claims to be a "highly realistic simulation game" is a lot to take in. It's a first-person sim where you'll be able to go around performing miracles, like summoning fish, healing the sick and fighting Satan with your magic hands.
It's important to note that this fight with Satan is, according to the list of key features, also realistic.
The footage looks like something a TV studio would create for another misguided episode on videogames, and while apparently there's an open world, it bears more of a resemblance to a VR game where you just stand in place and wave your hands around as you're shuffled from one scene to the next.
Over 30 miracles will be included, which is a whopping 23 more than Jesus himself managed. Impressive! You'll also be able to baptise people and get super powers from the Holy Spirit, just like it was written in the Bible. There are special skills, too, though it's not clear what they are. Carpentry, maybe?
Eventually you'll have to go through the crucifixion itself, but it's just a fake out and you get to come back and show the world that you're totally fine. It's pretty bold of the developer to spoil the ending right in the trailer.
I'm still not entirely convinced it's real, but House Flipper publisher PlayWay is involved, and there's a Steam page. There's no release date, but it's coming soon. The protagonist's birthday, perhaps? Rest assured, we'll be checking out this realistic sim when it's available.
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Fraser is the UK online editor and has actually met The Internet in person. With over a decade of experience, he's been around the block a few times, serving as a freelancer, news editor and prolific reviewer. Strategy games have been a 30-year-long obsession, from tiny RTSs to sprawling political sims, and he never turns down the chance to rave about Total War or Crusader Kings. He's also been known to set up shop in the latest MMO and likes to wind down with an endlessly deep, systemic RPG. These days, when he's not editing, he can usually be found writing features that are 1,000 words too long or talking about his dog.