An Ork, an Eldar, and a Human walk into bar. Bartender says, "What can I get you?" Simultaneously, they say, "I'll take that pointy stikk." With a start, they glance furtively at each other. A silent beat hangs in the air; a drop of sweat runs down the bartender's cheek. The clock ticks. 14 billion people die.
To be fair, the description of the new Dawn of War 3 trailer makes the conflict out to be a little more serious than your average watering-hole disagreement: "It’s a race to the pointy stikk as Gabriel Angelos, Farseer Macha, and Gorgutz ‘Ead’unter command their massive armies in a search for a mythical weapon that can control the fate of their races! With the Space Marines, Eldar, and Orks all hunting for the same treasure, there’s only one thing they’re certain to find—war."
It's a three-way fight, but to my mind it's really all about the Orks. That's likely because we all need a break from the grim dark of the future now and then, and nothing says "don't take it too seriously" like a gang of angry green half-wits who don't really care what they're fighting about, as long as they're fighting.
The trailer makes for a fun show, but you'll probably get a better idea of what it's all about in our recent hands-on with the Eldar faction. Dawn of War 3 is expected to be out later this year.
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